A Birthday Party

It's official, my sweet little girl turned one.

Wasn't it just a couple of months ago she came out to join us?

Wait, was I ever pregnant?  I know I must have been because I have these torn abs that stick out and do not want to heal.  But I digress...I hear about this pregnancy amnesia, but I forgot - or rather, choose not to remember as clearly.

No matter how you look at it though, a calendar year has passed: Four seasons, and another birthday closer to 40.  My beau has just one more year left in grad school.  My sweet boy is two and a half.  And Amelia is one.

I HAVE TWO TODDLERS!!!!!

To celebrate the fact that we all survived with only a few trips to the ER, we had a little party.  Nothing big, nothing fancy, just a few friends and family, some beer, some cheese, some sangria, lots of food, and cake.

We introduced her Godparents.
We confirmed that her name really is Amelia Danger.
We ate cake.
We opened presents from our very generous friends and family.
We watched part of the Olympic opening ceremony and agreed that we just don't get British humor.

But we all love Mr. Bean

We pulled out every blanket we had to fit overnight guests.
We circled the hole in the airbed that happened when the kids were using it as a jumping bed.
We gave up looking for the patch kit.

But we all fell sleep in the end.

We ate fluffy homemade waffles.
We ate leftovers.
We ate cake.

And we hugged, and said our goodbyes.

It's a good thing birthdays are but once a year, but they sure are good reasons to get together.

We loved seeing our friends, being far away from the ones we love is tough, but it will all be worth it.

At least there are smiles.

Lots of smiles.

Happy Birthday little one.

You are loved.

BABOOM!!

I'd be lying to you if I said that my kids never watch TV.  It's not that they sit on the couch and drool, it's just...background noise with the alphabet and furry monsters.

Sadly, I report that my kids can navigate our iphones better than we can.  Now please, I don't need to hear what bad parents we are, or how I'll get what I deserve etc.  If you have something snarky to say...come over to my house and watch the kids for a day or two - then leave a comment.

That being said,  one of my son's favorite videos is a clip from Mythbusters when they blow-up a concrete truck - They count down  10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1- and the concrete truck explodes into a million pieces.  BA-BOOM he says.. over and over and over, counting down every time.

My daughter, not even one, has heard him say this so many times, she knows what to do when he gets to 1...

Some folks didn't believe me, they said it was a fluke.

Here's proof:

Have a great day!

Why can't I shit, too?

You know that book, Everybody Poops?

I'm sure you've heard of it.

It doesn't address what happens at our house:



Daddy poops in the morning, he's allowed as much time as he needs.

Amelia poops in her diaper, whenever she feels the need.

Daniel poops in his diaper, then pulls off his diaper, shows it to me, then throws it around the living room.

But is Mommy allowed to poop?

No.

Finally, Daddy comes home from work... he is sweaty and tired, so he goes to clean up, wash up, take a shower...maybe he poops again.

Who knows, they're in there forever.

But, when Mommy needs to poop after everyone is fed, and Daddy is home to watch the kids, Mommy gets one minute before Daddy says:

"Who's ready for splish-splash time?"

When of course I chime in... "You're just going to have to wait a few minutes, please"

Then Daddy says " OK kids, we'll have to wait a minute while Mommy finishes in the potty."

I kid you not, not one minute later he says:

"Alright, splish splash time"

When of course, I yell back.."Just a minute please!"

And here is where it gets fun...

Daddy says " I have Daniel taking his dirty diaper off and swinging it in the air over here!!"

( as if it's the first time he's had to deal with that)

To which I yell back " You want me to pull the shit out of my ass for you?"

Please, do Mommy's ever have enough time?

What do those boys do in the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time.

I want 20 minutes, too!!!!

Apparently he thought this was the funniest thing he ever heard me say...

See?  I can be funny.

I learned it from YOU, dad!

There are some things you just know you'll use to torture your children when they are older.  Thankfully, when I was a kid if I tore up a picture, it was gone forever...unless my folks wanted to go through hundreds of unsorted negatives.

They never did.

Now, I think I would like to see some of those old pictures, perhaps my embarrassment will have turned to "awwww."

Alas, I will never know.

And now, I present for your viewing pleasure, a picture to end all pictures.

An image to top all images.

A picture that my son will hate me for, for at least a month...

...maybe more.

Aptly titled:

I learned it From Watching YOU, DAD!

Isn't potty training the best thing ever?

Glow Sticks!

Amelia's godmother has just finished law school and is currently studying for the Great Bar Exam of 2012 - we rarely see her.  But when we do...

Things get WILD AND CRAZY COOL.

Now who isn't addicted to Pinterest... I am.  She is, too.  I know this, because she found this amazing thing to do with the kids in the tub.  She splurged at the dollar store ( she has the best dollar store I've ever been to.) and brought hand fulls of glow sticks.  Though it took a while for the two of us to crack them all and do the shake-a-shake-a-shake-a thing to them until they flowed and glowed.

It was worth it.

The kids loved it and didn't want to get out.

They twirled them,and spun them, and waved them, and tried to eat them, and, of course hit each other (accidentally, but that doesn't make it any less painful)

The bathroom lights were out, and the only lights were the glow sticks themselves - that should help explain the photos.

Then, after they were pried from the tub...

...Amelia fell asleep with some, still clinging to them as she slept.

Also, we can't be happier for our AJ, she was offered the position of her dreams...  Congratulations!!!

...and thanks for the amazing good times.