Sunday, April 8, 2012

When a child dies.

My thoughts in this post go out to friends dealing with a situation no one ever wants to face. I hope to never have to go through what they are going through right now...

No matter how old they get, your children will always be your babies.

Your baby might be in diapers, she is still your baby.

He may ask you to drop him off a block before school so no one sees him kiss you goodbye. He is still your baby.

She might wear make-up, date trashy boys and think she knows everything, but she will always be your baby.

He might go off to college, have great friends, and not so great friends, make good and bad choices, and not call as much as he should. But that growing man will always be your baby.

Even when she starts to have babies of her own, she, not your grandchildren will always be your baby.

Life is often funny, and sometimes cruel. Once in a great while it can be so devastatingly unfathomable you're not sure if you are awake or dreaming.

On that day, when you wake up and your son does not, there is no air to breath.

The light has gone out of the world, and your heart, which you would trade beat for beat for your child, stops.

And there are no words.

And there is no comfort.

And there is no time.

Today, a baby has been taken from his father, a baby has been taken from his mother.

And there are questions.

And there are no answers.

And there are tears and screams and cursing.

And there are still no answers.

Hug your children. Kiss them when they sleep. Listen when they talk and yell. Pick them up if they ask, and don't ask any questions. Ground them if they deserve it. Apologize if you are wrong.

Life is too short.

Even shorter for others.

Take advantage of the time you have now, you never know.

You just never know.

Rest in peace, Stinks. You left too soon.


  1. One of my sweet friends who was 90 years old in 1984, was telling me about her son who died 15 years earlier at age 54 with tears in her eyes. She said, "You never get over it. You go on, but you never get over it."

  2. Through the tears in my eyes and lump in my throat, my sadness for your friends.... Now, only as a parent can this emotion be grasped. We are NOT supposed to outlive our children. I saw this first with my dear Aunt Fanny who tragically lost RaRa when she was only 32, with 2 babies who would not have a mom. Too many times my phone rang and set off a silent panic in me. Gratefully, my two babies, all grown now, remain my favorites, going about their lives, as intended. How could it be possible to survive such a loss? The best contribution made while on this planet is your child. Please let me never lose either of my gifts.