Sunday, July 21, 2013

Did you know?

 Some things you just have to find out the hard way.
The following is a list of things you should already know:

1.  Always check your salad dressing bottle spout before you pour.  Since there are so many squirt bottles out there, you can forget that not all bottles have that protective barrier.

2.  Always double check that the cheap plastic lid from fast food joints has been put on securely before you take your first sip.

3.  Always smell the milk before you pour a glass.  However, if you are not in your own home, don't stick your nose other peoples milk - that's...gross.  Better to pour a glass then smell it.

4.  Tie your shoes before you get on as escalator.

5.  When zipping a zipper, run your other hands thumb on the inside to help prevent clothing/skin from being caught.

6. Acetone dissolves Crazy Glue.

7.  Crazy Glue shut that tiny paper cut that keeps opening up.  The sting of the glue will be worth it.

8.  Edited for moral and character growth.

9.  If you are changing the diaper of baby boy, make sure they are covered at all times.  I repeat, at all times.   (the following image is of a real product...)

10.  Check that you have enough toilet paper BEFORE you sit down.

Then, while you're sitting there, you can do this:

Look for more of these here:
Anastassia Elias.

What have you learned the hard way?

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Potty Training ups & Downs

Everybody poops.

A parent knows this best of all (perhaps excluding some caregivers, but we're in the same boat, there.)

 Oh, please, before I go on any further, let me admit the following vocabulary for your approval:

potty = toilet
pee-pee = urine
big-boy undies = underwear
poop = feces
poopies = feces
plop-plops = feces
shit = any fecal matter that does not go in either a diaper or the toilet.
penis = badly aimed, dangerous firing, urine expulsion unit.

Now that we know the terms in our house, let me continue.  Over the past year, Daniel has been expressing interest in using the potty.  We, as we should be, are always thrilled.  We cheer when he sits on the potty.  We clap when he goes into the bathroom and just farts.  We break out the potty treats; a couple of M&Ms for pee-pee, and a mini snickers for poopies.  We call our friends, call our families, and post of Facebook when he does anything of substance.

I'm not apologizing for the posts.

For the past three days Daniel has been in big-boy undies, and has been dry during the day most of the time.

Yesterday, he shit in his underwear because he was didn't want to stop eating dinner.  That was fun.  So, we thought we had emptied the contents of the underwear into the toilet and wrapped up his soiled clothes in a bag to be washed.  That night, down stairs at the washer, I pulled out the clothes along with another load ( it cost $1.50 wash/ $1.50 dry so we don't waste a wash) and tossed it all in the washer on hot.  When I went to put the load in the dryer it all smelled like shit.  Oh yes, the whole load.  I picked up a portion of the clothes to be surprised by little poop pellets stuck to the inside of the washer.  Fun times.  I pulled out the clorox wipes, wiped down the parts I found and ran it again.

I wish that were the end of the day, but it continues...

This evening, both Amelia and Daniel yelled that they needed to use the potty ( at the same time.)  I told Amelia she could go first. She sits there, farts, and gets down.  YAY!!! Then, while Daniel actually goes poopies in the potty ( High Fives, YAY!'s and a Snickers later) Amelia is still sans diaper and she squats down on the tiles just next to the toilet where Daniel is still sitting.

"Amelia!" I say, "No going pee-pee's on the floor please, Daniel is almost done!"
To which she replies "no pee-pee Mommy!"
And, to her credit, she was right.  In a perfectly round pile, she left me her own pile of shit.

Now picture this, I'm wiping poop off the floor, off her feet, off her butt, and then, trying to wash my hands before Daniel is done and needs to get wiped as well. 

I have Clorox wipes piled, used diapers stacked, and two half naked kids laughing at each other.

At least the kid wipes were flushable.

And now...bath time.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

A vacation to remember

Family vacations!

first flights...

...and making a big splashdown.

Meeting the newest members of the family...

..and giving them the stink eye.

Meeting furry friends...

and reconnecting with old ones. ( thanks for the tour, Melissa!)

Making memories:

And after it is all said and done...dreaming about it.

My posts just wouldn't be the same without a Mess-of the-day.  Brought to you this day by Honey-Nut Cheerios:

Please check off Daniel's bucket list- fly in a helecopter.  Thanks to Pop-Pop and Grandma:

Though we need a vacation from this vacation, we had a wonderful time.  We laughed, we cried, we took our medicines like champs, and, we made lots of great memories.

All in all, it's a good thing family vacations are only once ever other year.  Next time, the kids will be older, more self sufficient, out of diapers, and able to swim.

 We learned so many things about vacationing; what to bring, what not to bring, and what to expect or what not to expect.  For the first time I can honestly say that the time didn't fly by, it just ticked by like it always does with us. One hug at a tme.

Vacation from this vacation

Things I've learned on our family vacation to Florida:

1- Always check carry-on bags before you get to the airport.

2- Remember to pack only what you need.

3 - Don't pack "nice clothes." They only take up space and since I didn't pack a nanny, I didnt need them.

4- I will hire a nanny for any extended stay vacation we go on n the next 5 years.

5 -Always have some cash on hand

6 - Pack more diapers than you need in your carry on.  You can purchase a pack of 2 in the airport for $2.50.  Likely not the size you need.

7 - Pink eye can be picked up in a pool.

8 - You can get an ear infection if you dont get all the water out of your ears...from the pool.

9- If the meat is grey, but still smells fine - DONT EAT IT.

10 - Don't let your child play with your phone if their favorite game requires streaming...and you don't have unlimited megabites.

11 - Always keep the memory card in your camera. Especially if you are going to take your son ( who is obsessed with helecopters) on his first helecopter ride.

12 - You can buy anything you can buy at Disney, for half the price at walgreens.

13- Toys at the dollar store are a dollar for a reason, and too expensive for what they are.

14- don't turn the bubblejets on in the spa tub while your kids are in it.

15-  White Sidwalk chalk comes off of floors, walls, carpets, chairs, sofas, and clothing - but pink doesn't.

16- On a positive note, puddle jumpers are worth every cent. Every damn cent.