Thursday, March 22, 2012

2Y110D : If you're tired and you know it...

If you're tired and you know it clap your hands.  * CLAP  CLAP*
If you're tired and you know it clap your hands. *CLAP CLAP*
If you're eyes are half way open, and your bags are deep and blue,
If you're tired and you know it clap your hands. *Cla.....p...........clap.*

If you said you'd go to the gym click your tongue * TSK TSK*
If you promised to tighten your abs click your tongue * TSK TSK*
If your bigger than you were, and your abs and ass are wrecks,
If you need some motivation, click your tongue * TSK TSK*

If  you think an early bedtime is a myth, STOMP YOUR FEET
If they're bouncing off the walls at 9 O'clock, STOMP YOUR FEET
If  8 O'clock has come and gone, and your TV shows are on, 
They didn't take nap, yet they're awake, STOMP YOUR FEET

If you have someone to help, shout HOORAY  *HOORAY*
Why do baby-sitters charge almost $20 an hour? shout WTF!
If it's more tiring to visit a  non baby-proof house even though there are an extra 4 people there, than just staying home by yourself,  shout *GRRRRRRR*

If you're tired and you know it,  SUCK IT UP!
If you're flabby and you know it,  GO TO THE GYM!
Perhaps it's easier to say than to get up off your butt,
let the kids stay in their jammies, and stay in your rut.


Today's MESS OF THE DAY is brought to you by Sigmund Freud:

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

2Y100D: Speak up or Suck it up.

(I apologize for the gap in posts.  My Son did unrecoverable damage to my computer and I just got a hand-me-down to continue my adventures with you.)

Today, lets discuss tough questions, and the better way to approach them.  This stems from a lovely conversation I had with the check-out guy at Stop-and-Shop yesterday:

Check-out-Guy: Are you having a baby?
Me: What? Why do ask me that, do I look like I 'm having a baby?
COG: Well, I just had a baby a month ago, and you have a little pooch. (pats his belly then points to mine)
Me: First of all, NEVER ask a woman if she is having a baby unless you are 100% positive, it's rude.  It might just be because I'm fat.
COG: Oh, ok.

Some people.

This exchange started me thinking about how to approach delicate situations in a better way.  How to ask questions you want honest answers for or results from, not just PC answers.  Remember, never ask a question you don't want an answer to.  Some folks can't distinguish between retorical and literal questions.  Also some situations need your intervention.  Speak up, or suck it up.

Instead of saying: "Do I look fat in these jeans?"
Ask: "I think I might need a bigger size, what do you think?"

Instead of asking: "Do I have bad breath?"
Ask: "Woah, I think I need a mint and don't have I need one?"

Instead of asking: "Do you want to get out of here?"
Ask: "I'm getting a bit tired, how about you?"

Instead of asking:  "Is this shirt too revealing?"
Ask: "You think my dad would be embarrassed if he saw this much of my boobs?"

Instead of asking: "Do I stink?"
Ask: "I think I could use more deodorant, what do you think?"

Instead of asking: "Will you please chew with your mouth closed?"
Ask: "I've been trying to get my kids to chew with their mouths closed, do you have any ideas or tricks?"

Instead of asking: "How do like dinner?" (That you cooked)
Ask: "I've been working on this recipe, do you think it needs any tweeking?"

If you are in a family friendly restaurant and here folks talking nearby complaining about how loud your party/kids are
Instead of asking:  Are my kids/ Are we being too loud?
Ask: Do you know a place we can go after put the kids to bed that is little quieter that doesn't cater to families like this place does?

Awkward situations:

1.  Polital conversation turns dirty, nasty and offensive.
          -You can't win a polital discussion.  Period.  If the conversation turns ugly (which recently isn't difficult) Say:  I think we can agree to disagree on this one...  change the subject.

2.  Someone asks you if you are pregnant and you are not: ( there are a few responses here, Thanks Joe, for my favorite)
             Say: What? I'm having a baby? Another one? Holy crap, you can tell if I'm pregnant just by looking at me?! Hey! Hey everybody! This guy can look at a woman and just KNOW if you're having a baby! Hey, buddy, do her next! Tell me if she's having a baby too!"


If asked..."are you....?(and pats belly)"  Finish his sentence with  "...Fat? Yes, thank you."  (Obviously this only goes if you aren't really having a baby)

3.  Company is staying well passed their welcome time/Party is over and unwanted guests linger:
             Say: Sorry, we have to start cleaning up and settling the kids down before bed time
or          Say: (Choose a time :15 minutes later than it is) We have a phone call to make at ** o'clock.
or          Say:  Thank you so much for coming, we're going to lock up for the night a few minutes, do          you need anyting for the road?

I know I can just keep adding:  If you have any others, please comment  and I'll update the post.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

2Y94D: Are you Wet?

When the little ones learn to talk, they start by repeating what they hear.
"da-da", "ma-ma" etc.  It grows from there in leaps and bounds from single words, to a couple of words strung together, to phrases and on and on.

My son loves to play in water.  He asks to drink water, pour water, spill water, and, sadly, spit water (in a backwash kind of way) back into his cups/containers.

Often, we find ourselves asking him "are you wet?" when clearly he is soaked.

Today is a typical day:

"Water, please" he asks.  We're working on the "May I please have some water?"  Sometimes it works.

I pour an ounce or so into an open cup.  This in itself is asking for trouble, but he needs to learn and practice drinking from an open cup.  He takes a sip, then two, and then pours the rest into the bed of his dump truck.  "More water, please" he asks.  And, after asking him not to spill it, he gets another ounce or so, takes a sip, then two, and pours the rest into his dump truck.

Now with a splashable amount in the bed of the truck, he takes it for a spin around the living room, leaving a small dark water trail on the brown carpet in its wake.  From there he dumps the somewhat dirty, backwashed water into a green jack-o-lantern bucket.  It doesn't end there.

He then picks up the bucket, and without thinking twice tries to drink it as if it were a HUGE cup ( which of course it is not).  As expected, he gets a bit, and the rest pours all over him.

We ask him; "Are you wet?"  He repeats "Are you wet?" which means Yes, mommy, I need a dry shirt please.

Now, with that back story, it makes the following that much funnier:

I open a bottle of water, which I usually don't do at home, and take a sip.  The bottle is one of the new eco-friendlier ( not that any plastic bottle is eco-friendly) thinner bottles.  Daniel runs right up to me as I go to take a second sip. He reaches up and grabs the bottle before I fend him off and squeezes.

He squeezes the thin plastic of the very full bottle of water.  He squeezes the bottle and there is no place for the water in the bottle to go but up and out.

Up and out all over me.  In my face, up my nose, on my shirt and all over my pants.

The first thing Daniel says when he looks at me is " Are you wet?"

With a mouthful of water, the hilarity of the moment outweighs the upset I feel and it took everything in my power not to spit that water out all over him.  I had to run over to the sink to spit it out I was laughing so hard.


Funniest thing to happen in long time.

When I sit back down, Daniel walks back up to me, touches the wet patches on my pants and says "Funny!"

Yes, sweet baby, that was funny.

2Y94D: Active Children

I take a deep breathe in.  My tongue plays with my cheek a bit and I lightly bite my lip.

I breathe out.

I breathe in again through my nose and hold it just a second, and breathe out slowly through my mouth.



Does this child ever run out of energy?

Will he ever stop climbing on furniture?

Wasn't it just a month or so ago when he figured out how to jump off his little 8" stool?  I think so.  He gradually worked up to his bed.  "Big Jump!!" He says with glee.

Once he mastered his bed, he started jumping off the couch, a little higher.  "Big Big Jump!" He says.  He jump slides off the couch and lands on the hollow floor with a loud THUMP!

I mentioned this before.

And now, he started to jump off the arm of the couch.  This I cannot abide.  It's just too high, it's too high for me to jump off without hurting my aging knees.  Yet he jumps anyway.

Then sits in time out

And jumps again, looking at me like " HA! I did it, go ahead put me in time out!"

It scares me.  Like most toddlers (I think) he has no fear.  He is Superman, able to leap tall buildings and all that... His energy is endless.  Unless he is sick, he is never stops moving.   I just can't keep up, my superwoman days ended in my teens, 20 years ago.

Before the winter, and before Amelia was born, I said I would go to the park everyday, no matter what.  That hasn't happened.  Now, with a membership at the YMCA, we can go everyday as well, but he cries non-stop and I have to pick him up after 20 minutes.  We haven't started in the pool yet, but perhaps that will tire him out.  I'll let you know.

For now... Today's MESS OF THE DAY is brought to you by Tupperware, and Ikea:

Thursday, March 1, 2012

2Y93D: To Pierce or Not to Pierce

My Daughter is 7 months old now.

When I was her age my parents had already taken me to get my ears pierced.   I don't remember it. 

Now here's the question.  Do you have a little girl?  Have you, or are you planning on getting her ears pierced?

Don't get me wrong, if you have a son and want to do the same, that is certainly up to you.  This is not supposed to be a sexist thing, though I can't say I recommend it.

My opinion on the matter is, No.  Until she asks me, or expresses interest in getting her ears pierced, she will remain without holes in her ears (not including the holes she already has...I figure she's more apt to put something in those holes before I put holes in her lobes.)

Also, if she then asks for a second hole, she can have an additional one at 14...more at 16.

I have many friends who have gone ahead and pierced their girls' ears. That's fine, it's cute, it's just not for me.

Why? You ask. Good question.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it has something to do with the choice I make for her.  Perhaps it is a decision that I want her to think about, weigh the options, and make on her own.

It certainly isn't because I don't believe ears should be pierced, I have...more than 2 in each ear.  It isn't because I worry about her looking like a boy.  It isn't because I don't want the hassle or having to clean them multiple times a day.

I want her to be self confident.  I want her to think for herself.

Should she want this, we'll do it properly.  Professionally.  Not at a kiosk in the mall.

And so, at 7 months old, it's one less thing I have to worry about for a few years.

>>>>---INTRODUCING.....  A New Section...

Today's Mess of the Day

Today's "Mess of the Day" is brought to you by Streit's Matzo.  

I think from here on out I'll use this format - a post, then, a Mess of the Day.  What do you think?