You know that book, Everybody Poops?
I'm sure you've heard of it.
It doesn't address what happens at our house:
Daddy poops in the morning, he's allowed as much time as he needs.
Amelia poops in her diaper, whenever she feels the need.
Daniel poops in his diaper, then pulls off his diaper, shows it to me, then throws it around the living room.
But is Mommy allowed to poop?
Finally, Daddy comes home from work... he is sweaty and tired, so he goes to clean up, wash up, take a shower...maybe he poops again.
Who knows, they're in there forever.
But, when Mommy needs to poop after everyone is fed, and Daddy is home to watch the kids, Mommy gets one minute before Daddy says:
"Who's ready for splish-splash time?"
When of course I chime in... "You're just going to have to wait a few minutes, please"
Then Daddy says " OK kids, we'll have to wait a minute while Mommy finishes in the potty."
I kid you not, not one minute later he says:
"Alright, splish splash time"
When of course, I yell back.."Just a minute please!"
And here is where it gets fun...
Daddy says " I have Daniel taking his dirty diaper off and swinging it in the air over here!!"
( as if it's the first time he's had to deal with that)
To which I yell back " You want me to pull the shit out of my ass for you?"
Please, do Mommy's ever have enough time?
What do those boys do in the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time.
I want 20 minutes, too!!!!
Apparently he thought this was the funniest thing he ever heard me say...
See? I can be funny.