Scat, scat. CRAP!

Splish Splash time is one of the most wonderful times of the whole day.  And do you know why that is?

Both kids, contained, getting clean, and having a blast doing it.  I sit on a bath mat, roll up any sleeves, and put a hand towel over the edge of the tub or on my lap. 

I still get wet.  Depending on which cup, bowl, bucket, or toy the decides to play with will usually determine how wet I get.  It's all ok, mostly fun, and safe.

But, like all good things, they must come to an end.

Sure, it's tough drying them both off, getting them into jammies, and brushing their teeth.  I take Amelia out first, dry her off and get her dressed all the while talking to Daniel who is 10 feet away.  Still in the tub.  Usually there are two of us so one catches one and the other, well you get the idea.

Tonight I was making dinner.  Raw chicken is not the best thing to touch your clean children with, so Brian did most of the washing and drying of Amelia and I watched Daniel until he was finished.  For a moment he lowered his head down so I only saw the top of his.

"Daniel, Bubba, whactcha doin?"

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah...SPLASH!"

"Having fun?"

"Splish splash!"

Now, I'm standing in the doorway and he starts to throw what at first looks like torn up pieces of his foam bathtub letters.

"Oh, Baby, don't do that, please, how are we supposed to play with our... WHAT IS THIS????  Is this poop? Daniel did you...."  I go over to the tub and look into the cloudy tub... 

"CRAP! Nooo, Daniel, oh gross, we don't poop in the tub, and you're throwing it all over the bathroom!  No Bubba..BRIAN??  I need you please. "

Now at this point I still have raw chicken on my hands, but I can't really decide which would be worse...raw chicken, or swimming in poop.  Thankfully I don't have to decided because Brian comes running in steps in a ball of poop I missed, scoops up the boy while I am scooping the poop with a slatted ladle ( what would you have used, ey?)  I drain the tub, scoop the little pieces off the floor and tell Brian that now Daniel needs a good shower and lather up.

One miserable shower later with poor Brian who had taken the shower head off and just power washed Daniel, and Splish splash time was over.

Finally the kid is clean, dinner is consumed, and everyone is settling in for nite nite time.  The bathroom still needs to be sanitized.  Once the little scat scatterer goes to sleep, I'll get on that.  I don't want him to see me do it else he makes some bizarre "If I do this, then she will do this" sort of connection in that head of his.

Hope your night has been cleaner than ours!

Wait what is that smell?  What?  Crap!

2Y8D: HOLY SH*T

I thought it was me.

I, however, thought I sprayed the Fabreeze.

Why then, was the smell getting stronger, and how did my son get chocolate pudding all over his hands?

Wait, I didn't give him chocolate pudding today!  Holy SH*T!

Literally.

Gross.

Really, truly, unquestionably... gross.

My angel did his business, then, I can only suppose, wanted to make sure it was still there.  I'm here to testify that yes indeed, it was still there. 

After the appropriate diaper change, it only took 30 minutes or so to get the evidence either put in the laundry pile, cleaned off the couch, wiped off the changing table, cleaned off his hands,  and wiped off his entire back.

I wish he were as interested in the potty as he is with his own poo.