How much is enough?

You've read the articles and the books, heard the hype, asked your friends, and consulted with parents...about how to be the best parent you can be.

"Are you Mom enough?"
Do you know "What to expect when you're Expecting?"
Do you have "belly Laughs?"
or do you have "The happiest Baby on the Block?"

Odds are, you are, you do, you may, and you might.

But do you feel like you are?

I don't.

Is it my fault that I have what others have stated "A wild child", "A terrible Child", "A lot of kid", and "a very energetic little one?" 

He doesn't sit still.  He can't be left alone with strangers ( new babysitters etc.) He stops when I say "red light" then says "green light means Go Go Go!" and continues to run.  His energy is boundless...endless...like he has a little tesseract cube inside him.

What two year old refuses to nap, then finds himself not being able to sleep until anywhere between 9:30 and 11:00pm?

OK, here's the most recent example:  This weekend was a very important graduation for a very favorite friend of ours.  We were prepared, we had everything we could possible need; food, diapers, change of clothes, new toys, camera, distractions, etc.  Really, we had it all.  We got perfect seats, had a perfect view, and arrived in time to relax before the place filled up...

... Graduation had not even begun before Daniel needed to get up and run around the theatre... down the rows, up the stairs, down the stairs, across the mezzanine, along the marble landing, in and out of bathrooms and over and over again.  We pick him up, bring him back to our seat and firmly tell him we need to whisper, sit and look for "AJ." It works for a minutes before he is back up again.  Once the benediction began he was running...we decided to let him play with the Kindle Fire some learning games.  The volume was muted, but, who can be heard clear across the entire crowd?  Oh yes... Daniel yelling: "Banana! Yellow! Grape! Green!  Yeah that wasn't working.  Then not to be outmatched, Amelia started yelling "Da-da!" and "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Of course we picked them up and removed them as not to disturb others.

Soon after Brian and I strapped those talkers (turned yellers)  into their stroller and packed them up to go back to the hotel.

I stayed back by myself - I wasn't going to miss it.

But, before I sent Brian off with the kids, I had a minor break down:  "What am I doing wrong?  How can other kids still still and ours can't?  I feel like such a bad mom, am I?

The fast answer to this is "You're doing great, he's only 2  1/2, all kids are different, and would you want to sit still if you were not even 3 years old?"

Sure sure, great advice I'd give to any mom who posed a similar question to me.  Hard as a Stephen hawking thinking question to answer with any discernible clue.

Should I be more firm?  yes.  How do I enforce the rules? Time our doesn't seem to work, and smacking him around is not in the cards.  If I close him in his room, he'll start to scream , cry and then his asthma kicks in and he throws up everywhere.

I'm at a loss.

Perhaps I don't need any advice, though knowing there are other parents out there who face similar issues. 

Are we the only parents who can't go out with our children? 

Behavior.  Are they on their best behavior?  Well, folks, sadly, there are.  You should see them when they are NOT on their best behavior.

An amazing dinner would have to start around 4:30 for the ideal eating window to be encapsulated.  We all sit down, Daniel gets some crayons he plays with for a little before he starts to throw and eat them.  We keep a stash of books, toys and cups with us and order his meal right away so it comes out first.  Then, hopefully, he is hungry enough to keep eating while Brian and I ( or whomever is brave enough to go with us or old enough to want to eat the early bird way) try to enjoy our meal without having to give in to Daniels "GET DOWN NOW!...please."

It gets better.  It must.  I believe it will.

But it would be nice to know we're not alone.

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Today's Mess Of The Day:

Rice.  Jasmine rice to be more specific. 

Rice is akin to snow or glitter in a theater...once it gets everywhere, you're finding bits and pieces everywhere for weeks...

Toy Time-Out

I'm trying a new thing today that, for lack of a better term, I'll call "Toy Time-Out."

I suppose if you want to get really picky about putting blame on an object rather than the person, then you'd be the same person who thinks "SUV hits pedestrian...news at 7" is acceptable.

But kids don't come with instruction manuals, we know this.  What worked for the 1st  child doesn't necessarily work for number 2 or three.  What works for your best friends kids might not work for you, and the woman who has "angels" for children and tries to give you advice on your children can suck an egg.  You know your kids better than anyone.  You'd think I know my kids as well, too.

My son is almost 2 1/2.  He's not terrible.  He's not an angel either for that matter.

We are having disciplining disagreements.  When to scold, when to discuss, when to redirect, and when to remove to time-out.  Then, once a time-out is enacted, what and where will this take place?  Their room? A specific chair? A specific place? How long?

You have answers to these questions, I know you do.

This week we moved the fish tank from his room to the living room so he can look at them better.  I thought this was a great idea.

Daniel will pull chairs to the fish tank to look, tap, then toss anything he has into the opening at the very top of  the tank.  There used to be a flap there, but since it was healthier for the fish to remove it, I can't seem to find it - yay.

I've fished out trucks, cars, drum sticks, and a teething toy.  Each time we tell him that he is hurting the fish, the fish are getting boo-boos.

Does this deter him?  No.

This afternoon it was an airplane. 

He loves airplanes.

He took one of his airplanes, and "crashed it" into the tank.

If time-out wasn't deterring this kid, other measures would have to be taken.  I just could not remove the fish tank.  And it was becoming a game for him.  What articles, boxes, books, chairs, buckets etc. could he use as a stool to get up to the tank?

Anything he could find.

It had to end.

And so, I did what every mom in my position would do, I put that airplane in time out.

For the next 2 minutes he was not allowed to play with that airplane.  That yellow airplane made bad choices crashing into the fish tank and giving boo-boos to the poor fishies.

Take that airplane!

I'll tell you what, though, after a few additional cars went into time out he finally got the picture.  It's only been a few hours, but the fish tank remains as it is; 2 fish, a castle and a climbing rock.

2Y94D: Active Children

I take a deep breathe in.  My tongue plays with my cheek a bit and I lightly bite my lip.

I breathe out.

I breathe in again through my nose and hold it just a second, and breathe out slowly through my mouth.

Calming.

Calming.

Does this child ever run out of energy?

Will he ever stop climbing on furniture?

Wasn't it just a month or so ago when he figured out how to jump off his little 8" stool?  I think so.  He gradually worked up to his bed.  "Big Jump!!" He says with glee.

Once he mastered his bed, he started jumping off the couch, a little higher.  "Big Big Jump!" He says.  He jump slides off the couch and lands on the hollow floor with a loud THUMP!

I mentioned this before.

And now, he started to jump off the arm of the couch.  This I cannot abide.  It's just too high, it's too high for me to jump off without hurting my aging knees.  Yet he jumps anyway.

Then sits in time out

And jumps again, looking at me like " HA! I did it, go ahead put me in time out!"

It scares me.  Like most toddlers (I think) he has no fear.  He is Superman, able to leap tall buildings and all that... His energy is endless.  Unless he is sick, he is never stops moving.   I just can't keep up, my superwoman days ended in my teens, 20 years ago.

Before the winter, and before Amelia was born, I said I would go to the park everyday, no matter what.  That hasn't happened.  Now, with a membership at the YMCA, we can go everyday as well, but he cries non-stop and I have to pick him up after 20 minutes.  We haven't started in the pool yet, but perhaps that will tire him out.  I'll let you know.

For now... Today's MESS OF THE DAY is brought to you by Tupperware, and Ikea: