Scat, scat. CRAP!

Splish Splash time is one of the most wonderful times of the whole day.  And do you know why that is?

Both kids, contained, getting clean, and having a blast doing it.  I sit on a bath mat, roll up any sleeves, and put a hand towel over the edge of the tub or on my lap. 

I still get wet.  Depending on which cup, bowl, bucket, or toy the decides to play with will usually determine how wet I get.  It's all ok, mostly fun, and safe.

But, like all good things, they must come to an end.

Sure, it's tough drying them both off, getting them into jammies, and brushing their teeth.  I take Amelia out first, dry her off and get her dressed all the while talking to Daniel who is 10 feet away.  Still in the tub.  Usually there are two of us so one catches one and the other, well you get the idea.

Tonight I was making dinner.  Raw chicken is not the best thing to touch your clean children with, so Brian did most of the washing and drying of Amelia and I watched Daniel until he was finished.  For a moment he lowered his head down so I only saw the top of his.

"Daniel, Bubba, whactcha doin?"

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah...SPLASH!"

"Having fun?"

"Splish splash!"

Now, I'm standing in the doorway and he starts to throw what at first looks like torn up pieces of his foam bathtub letters.

"Oh, Baby, don't do that, please, how are we supposed to play with our... WHAT IS THIS????  Is this poop? Daniel did you...."  I go over to the tub and look into the cloudy tub... 

"CRAP! Nooo, Daniel, oh gross, we don't poop in the tub, and you're throwing it all over the bathroom!  No Bubba..BRIAN??  I need you please. "

Now at this point I still have raw chicken on my hands, but I can't really decide which would be worse...raw chicken, or swimming in poop.  Thankfully I don't have to decided because Brian comes running in steps in a ball of poop I missed, scoops up the boy while I am scooping the poop with a slatted ladle ( what would you have used, ey?)  I drain the tub, scoop the little pieces off the floor and tell Brian that now Daniel needs a good shower and lather up.

One miserable shower later with poor Brian who had taken the shower head off and just power washed Daniel, and Splish splash time was over.

Finally the kid is clean, dinner is consumed, and everyone is settling in for nite nite time.  The bathroom still needs to be sanitized.  Once the little scat scatterer goes to sleep, I'll get on that.  I don't want him to see me do it else he makes some bizarre "If I do this, then she will do this" sort of connection in that head of his.

Hope your night has been cleaner than ours!

Wait what is that smell?  What?  Crap!

2Y94D: Are you Wet?

When the little ones learn to talk, they start by repeating what they hear.
"da-da", "ma-ma" etc.  It grows from there in leaps and bounds from single words, to a couple of words strung together, to phrases and on and on.

My son loves to play in water.  He asks to drink water, pour water, spill water, and, sadly, spit water (in a backwash kind of way) back into his cups/containers.

Often, we find ourselves asking him "are you wet?" when clearly he is soaked.

Today is a typical day:

"Water, please" he asks.  We're working on the "May I please have some water?"  Sometimes it works.

I pour an ounce or so into an open cup.  This in itself is asking for trouble, but he needs to learn and practice drinking from an open cup.  He takes a sip, then two, and then pours the rest into the bed of his dump truck.  "More water, please" he asks.  And, after asking him not to spill it, he gets another ounce or so, takes a sip, then two, and pours the rest into his dump truck.

Now with a splashable amount in the bed of the truck, he takes it for a spin around the living room, leaving a small dark water trail on the brown carpet in its wake.  From there he dumps the somewhat dirty, backwashed water into a green jack-o-lantern bucket.  It doesn't end there.

He then picks up the bucket, and without thinking twice tries to drink it as if it were a HUGE cup ( which of course it is not).  As expected, he gets a bit, and the rest pours all over him.

We ask him; "Are you wet?"  He repeats "Are you wet?" which means Yes, mommy, I need a dry shirt please.

Now, with that back story, it makes the following that much funnier:

I open a bottle of water, which I usually don't do at home, and take a sip.  The bottle is one of the new eco-friendlier ( not that any plastic bottle is eco-friendly) thinner bottles.  Daniel runs right up to me as I go to take a second sip. He reaches up and grabs the bottle before I fend him off and squeezes.

He squeezes the thin plastic of the very full bottle of water.  He squeezes the bottle and there is no place for the water in the bottle to go but up and out.

Up and out all over me.  In my face, up my nose, on my shirt and all over my pants.

The first thing Daniel says when he looks at me is " Are you wet?"

With a mouthful of water, the hilarity of the moment outweighs the upset I feel and it took everything in my power not to spit that water out all over him.  I had to run over to the sink to spit it out I was laughing so hard.

5

Funniest thing to happen in long time.

When I sit back down, Daniel walks back up to me, touches the wet patches on my pants and says "Funny!"

Yes, sweet baby, that was funny.