Thursday, July 18, 2013

Potty Training ups & Downs

Everybody poops.

A parent knows this best of all (perhaps excluding some caregivers, but we're in the same boat, there.)

 Oh, please, before I go on any further, let me admit the following vocabulary for your approval:

potty = toilet
pee-pee = urine
big-boy undies = underwear
poop = feces
poopies = feces
plop-plops = feces
shit = any fecal matter that does not go in either a diaper or the toilet.
penis = badly aimed, dangerous firing, urine expulsion unit.

Now that we know the terms in our house, let me continue.  Over the past year, Daniel has been expressing interest in using the potty.  We, as we should be, are always thrilled.  We cheer when he sits on the potty.  We clap when he goes into the bathroom and just farts.  We break out the potty treats; a couple of M&Ms for pee-pee, and a mini snickers for poopies.  We call our friends, call our families, and post of Facebook when he does anything of substance.

I'm not apologizing for the posts.

For the past three days Daniel has been in big-boy undies, and has been dry during the day most of the time.

Yesterday, he shit in his underwear because he was didn't want to stop eating dinner.  That was fun.  So, we thought we had emptied the contents of the underwear into the toilet and wrapped up his soiled clothes in a bag to be washed.  That night, down stairs at the washer, I pulled out the clothes along with another load ( it cost $1.50 wash/ $1.50 dry so we don't waste a wash) and tossed it all in the washer on hot.  When I went to put the load in the dryer it all smelled like shit.  Oh yes, the whole load.  I picked up a portion of the clothes to be surprised by little poop pellets stuck to the inside of the washer.  Fun times.  I pulled out the clorox wipes, wiped down the parts I found and ran it again.

I wish that were the end of the day, but it continues...

This evening, both Amelia and Daniel yelled that they needed to use the potty ( at the same time.)  I told Amelia she could go first. She sits there, farts, and gets down.  YAY!!! Then, while Daniel actually goes poopies in the potty ( High Fives, YAY!'s and a Snickers later) Amelia is still sans diaper and she squats down on the tiles just next to the toilet where Daniel is still sitting.

"Amelia!" I say, "No going pee-pee's on the floor please, Daniel is almost done!"
To which she replies "no pee-pee Mommy!"
And, to her credit, she was right.  In a perfectly round pile, she left me her own pile of shit.

Now picture this, I'm wiping poop off the floor, off her feet, off her butt, and then, trying to wash my hands before Daniel is done and needs to get wiped as well. 

I have Clorox wipes piled, used diapers stacked, and two half naked kids laughing at each other.

At least the kid wipes were flushable.

And now...bath time.

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