Sunday, September 2, 2012

Back to work, or stay at home?

I have always worked.

Since I was 16, I have been employed at some capacity or another.

Then I got pregnant.

Coincidentally, the market crashed just as this "happened" to me, and I was 'let go.'  Blamed on the lack of work... of course.

Over the next three years I stayed at home; making babies, having babies, and raising babies.  I've had a couple of summer gigs while my husband was home from grad school, but nothing more than part-time for a couple of months.

Now the kids are older.  My son is almost 3, and my daughter is one.

We all survived!! 


I thought that all I wanted to be in life was to be a good mom.  I wanted to raise sweet babies to grow into sweet children, and on to be kind, respectful adults.

But I'm tired, and restless...

...and broke.

Truly, I want nothing more than make sure my kids have everything they need and more.  But perhaps the best way to accomplish that is to go back to work and find an ever patient soul who can help me do that by watching them during the day so I can go back to work.

I have a job interview in 2 weeks.  I am very qualified for this position, but find that while doing some over-hire work for them, I'm rusty.

Did I ever mention that I paint?  I paint murals, and scenery, and backgrounds for businesses, private homes, and theatre.  At least, I used to.

I thought it might be like riding a bike, you know, never forget?  Well, it's a little like that, but my heart and soul know what to do, and my hands and arms have lost their callouses, and muscle memory. 

Each day is better and I'm gaining back my confidence...but will it be enough?

Wait... this is post about going back to work, not getting a job. Sorry, I'm distracted.

So... this going back to work thing...

I'm trying to justify how I can let someone else raise my babies.  Will they do as good or better job?  Will they learn manners and respect?  Will they even learn that from me?  In the few weeks Ive been doing this part time job, they have already picked up bad habits.

Financially, this is important to us as a family, and I will do anything for my family.

But even though their tears have stopped when I drop them at daycare, mine continue.

They'll still love me right?

I can do this.

Now, all I need to do is get this job.

Perhaps I can use a little finger crossing.


  1. I say this as a child practically raised in child care (6 weeks to 9 years old, 5 days a week from 7 to 5pm)-
    Child care is good for kids and their parents. For children, they will receive all the socialization in the world (and the antibodies from all the illnesses in the world), they will learn sharing and caring about others and develop the ability to make friends. For you, you will actually have time to be around adults and discuss world topics not just the finer topics of poop. And the best part, your brain will be refreshed and be able to make the best of the time you do have with them. Evenings and weekends will become a much more meaningful time to both you and them.
    My advice for finding a daycare- find one that you are comfortable in, one that teaches the morals and behaviors you value. Be vocal about what you need from a day care, teachers get lazy just like parents, bring up behavioral problems you see and discuss how you would like them addressed. Most importantly be a a place that engages with the kids, learning is a constant activity.

    Your wonderful children will be just fine with either decision and I promise they will not love you any less.
    -Kaitlyn A

  2. Thanks Kaitlyn,

    So far the socialization has been wonderful for both of them - they had/have terrible separation anxiety.

    I like the place we've chosen, it's in a home. There are 6 kids total and they have a pre-school curriculum. The worst problem is that he is learning bad habits from the other kids: "Mine! Mine!" and screaming tantrums of whining... I guess it works for some of the kids, but it's a good idea to talk to the daycare lady about it - Good idea!!

    As long as they don't regret it. They are long days: 830 - 6. So little time to spend with them...