2Y100D: Speak up or Suck it up.

(I apologize for the gap in posts.  My Son did unrecoverable damage to my computer and I just got a hand-me-down to continue my adventures with you.)

Today, lets discuss tough questions, and the better way to approach them.  This stems from a lovely conversation I had with the check-out guy at Stop-and-Shop yesterday:

Check-out-Guy: Are you having a baby?
Me: What? Why do ask me that, do I look like I 'm having a baby?
COG: Well, I just had a baby a month ago, and you have a little pooch. (pats his belly then points to mine)
Me: First of all, NEVER ask a woman if she is having a baby unless you are 100% positive, it's rude.  It might just be because I'm fat.
COG: Oh, ok.

Some people.

This exchange started me thinking about how to approach delicate situations in a better way.  How to ask questions you want honest answers for or results from, not just PC answers.  Remember, never ask a question you don't want an answer to.  Some folks can't distinguish between retorical and literal questions.  Also some situations need your intervention.  Speak up, or suck it up.
 Ready?

Instead of saying: "Do I look fat in these jeans?"
Ask: "I think I might need a bigger size, what do you think?"

Instead of asking: "Do I have bad breath?"
Ask: "Woah, I think I need a mint and don't have one...do I need one?"

Instead of asking: "Do you want to get out of here?"
Ask: "I'm getting a bit tired, how about you?"

Instead of asking:  "Is this shirt too revealing?"
Ask: "You think my dad would be embarrassed if he saw this much of my boobs?"

Instead of asking: "Do I stink?"
Ask: "I think I could use more deodorant, what do you think?"

Instead of asking: "Will you please chew with your mouth closed?"
Ask: "I've been trying to get my kids to chew with their mouths closed, do you have any ideas or tricks?"

Instead of asking: "How do like dinner?" (That you cooked)
Ask: "I've been working on this recipe, do you think it needs any tweeking?"

If you are in a family friendly restaurant and here folks talking nearby complaining about how loud your party/kids are
Instead of asking:  Are my kids/ Are we being too loud?
Ask: Do you know a place we can go after put the kids to bed that is little quieter that doesn't cater to families like this place does?

Awkward situations:

1.  Polital conversation turns dirty, nasty and offensive.
          -You can't win a polital discussion.  Period.  If the conversation turns ugly (which recently isn't difficult) Say:  I think we can agree to disagree on this one...  change the subject.

2.  Someone asks you if you are pregnant and you are not: ( there are a few responses here, Thanks Joe, for my favorite)
             Say: What? I'm having a baby? Another one? Holy crap, you can tell if I'm pregnant just by looking at me?! Hey! Hey everybody! This guy can look at a woman and just KNOW if you're having a baby! Hey, buddy, do her next! Tell me if she's having a baby too!"

or

If asked..."are you....?(and pats belly)"  Finish his sentence with  "...Fat? Yes, thank you."  (Obviously this only goes if you aren't really having a baby)

3.  Company is staying well passed their welcome time/Party is over and unwanted guests linger:
             Say: Sorry, we have to start cleaning up and settling the kids down before bed time
or          Say: (Choose a time :15 minutes later than it is) We have a phone call to make at ** o'clock.
or          Say:  Thank you so much for coming, we're going to lock up for the night a few minutes, do          you need anyting for the road?


I know I can just keep adding:  If you have any others, please comment  and I'll update the post.