Wednesday, May 2, 2012

No More Patience

Before you have kids, it's easy to say "No Problem, I could handle that!"

When you're working off of a max of 4 hours of sleep at a time for over a year, money is tight, and your kids are 2 and under, the "No Problem, I can handle that" turns into "Which problem do I address, and which battle do I choose not to fight."

That's right ladies and gents, I don't fight every battle.  I don't have the strength or the patience to deal with the consequences.  Let's face it, trying to get a 2 year old to do what you what, when you want, is harder for you than it is for him.

It seems I have to set certain hard rules - these rules must be followed.  Everything else is... TBD.

3 Rules that can't be broken:

1. We are gentle with our sister

2. No climbing on the table/furniture or windowsills

3. No hitting.

Anything outside of that seems manageable...

...until it isn't.

And when it isn't, nothing goes well.  I cry over spilled milk, yell when he head butts her again, put him in time out every 10 minutes, and get irritated at everything...EVERYTHING.  My husband can't come home soon enough, bed time  is 2 years away, and dinner time is like feeding time at the zoo, only, I can't hose them down when there is food everywhere.

How do you do it?  How do you keep a smile on your face when things just get so damn frustrating?

How do you put up with all the changes of voice in this post?

Not often enough, I get that mommy motivation I think I should have all the time.  I keep the TV off most of the day, I'm on the floor playing and teaching the kids, I make all meals from scratch for the kids and for my husband, the laundry is going, the dishes are clean, and, when I'm not doing any of that, I'm cleaning.  Also, I'm happy to do it - to do all of it.

On every other day, I'm amazed at those moms who seem they can do it all... with more kids even.  On those days I wish I had a stronger attachment to a religion - I can't tell you the number of moms and non-moms who advise prayer.  I'm glad it works for them, envious almost.  Truly, when things get rough, a faith in something more powerful than themselves must give some soothing help.  I don't really have that - perhaps that's what I'm missing.  Maybe I need anti-depressants.  Maybe I just need to get out and go to the gym everyday and get that adrenaline rush to keep going.

Likely I need more sleep, more exercise,  and more patience.

Seriously, aside from needing grammar lessons, who doesn't need more patience?




8 comments:

  1. I'm right there with you Rachel! I'll tell you what helped me, sending Lyla to school. However, it is expensive because we too aren't religious which kind of sucks when it comes to schools. Church preschool? $120/month. Private preschool? $440/month. Frack.

    Otherwise, I just have to get her involved in things. I find that if she is busy all day she's more tolerable when she's misbehaving and I'm better at being patient during those times.

    Parenting is hard.

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    1. Id love to get him in school, but not sure if he's up for it. I cant even get him to stay in the day care at teh ymca for more than 30 minutes before screams

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  2. We should talk sometime. I definitely went through a bunch of things with Sophia that I wasn't expecting. I don't know how you're managing with two kids but I have no doubts you're doing a great job.

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    1. It's rough... I try to keep a positive outlook, but some days are so damn hard.

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  3. I love your blog entries. You have a way of expressing emotions and thoughts that bring back my personal history. I guess we've all been there before. I believe the good memories so over-trump all the hard work, frustration and lack of sleep

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  4. (contd) that as the years fly by and you revisit those memories, the poop and puke hardly have room to squeeze back into conscious thought. Instead you have a collection of refrigerator artwork, concert and graduation programs, and your now grown children's love and understanding.

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  5. (contd) that as the years fly by and you revisit those memories, the poop and puke hardly have room to squeeze back into conscious thought. Instead you have a collection of refrigerator artwork, concert and graduation programs, and your now grown children's love and understanding.

    ReplyDelete