Thursday, November 8, 2012

Parenting Inevitabilities

Congratulations, you're a parent!!

One of the first things you learn, is that no one told you everything you need to know.

I've been compiling a list of what I like to call: "Parenting Inevitabilities." Yes, it's not really I word, I know that, but it sounds good and is a perfect description.  This list is far from complete, as my kids are only 3 (next week)  and 15 months,  I have a lifetime to add to it.

I ask you, the reader, to comment and add to this list - I will update it.

20+ Parenting Inevitabilities

  1. If you stay up later then usual after your kids are asleep, they will inevitably wake up as soon as you fall asleep yourself.
  2. If your kids get sick, you, too, will eventually get sick - likely after they are well.  Make sure you have plenty of tissues.
  3. If you are waiting on an important phone call, you'll have to change a diaper, and you will have left your phone in the other room when it starts to ring.
  4. When you decide to wear your nice suede boots/shoes and your kids are standing at the door ready to get in the will be raining.
  5. If you only have two diapers left in your bag, your kid will have a poopsplosion, and one of the tabs will rip off the diaper. forcing you to turn around and go straight home or to a grocery store for a re-load.
  6. If you're running  late, the kids will be sluggish, breakfast will take forever, the car doesn't want to turn over and you forgot to charge your phone, only to realize it is Saturday.
  7. You'll forget to take off your stain free paints ( do you have any of those?) and decide to make spaghetti and meatballs/veggie meatballs for dinner.
  8. You'll wear the same outfit two days and nights, all in a row (maybe three, depending on how little your little one is).
  9.  Your in-laws will come over before you get a chance to clean up the "mess of the day." 
  10. One day will will put a diaper on inside-out.
  11. If your bottles have a gasket+
  12. +, you will inevitably forget to put it in - more than one time.
  13. When you're kids are cranky in the middle of the day and you are frustrated and cant figure out why, you'll realize you've forgotten to give them lunch.
  14. Never tell your kids NOT to do something - that is exactly what they will eventually do. (yes that's a double negative, but I think it works here.)
  15. Someone will put an empty container of milk back in the fridge.  It will be the only one in there.  It will be bedtime.
  16. Know how to clean up raw eggs off the floor.  You will eventually have to clean up a lot of them.
  17. Buy washable crayons.  Though you may not be able to wash them off everything, they easily come off walls, floors, skin, clothing, and Televisions.
  18. Teach your children how to go downstairs safely - "turn around and go feet first" they will eventually fall off your bed.  This sucks.
  19. Know the phone number of poison control - by heart ( Or post it where you can easily find it).  You will need it.
  20. Know how to get your your local hospital - you will eventually need to go.
  21.  Have a plan in case the power goes out...  ( you should have other plans, too, but those are not eventualities...the power is.)
  22. Know when to ask for help...eventually, you will need it.

There are more.  I will post in groups of 20, as not to inundate you with them.

Enjoy, and have a great day!

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